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Thursday, January 17, 2013

How-To Write Dirty...

You can only go through life with the same person for so long before you start to get into a routine. There isn't anything wrong with routine - routines are comfortable, and in a relationship you want to feel comfortable. But you don't want to get so comfortable that the routine is all that makes up your relationship, otherwise the moment something changes (the addition of a new baby, kids going off to college, change in job, chores, finances, etc) things are going to be strained.

That's why you need to shake things up a bit every so often. Even if it's just once a month or once every other month, coming up with a surprise for your spouse can keep things interesting for quite a while.

We've all had that moment where we thought about giving our spouse the 'sexy' surprise. Maybe we read about it in a magazine, or heard something from a friend, but most of the time you end up realizing that some of the suggestions aren't as romantic in real life as they sounded: wax can give you a bad burn, whipped cream is sticky, and that lady on the tag wore the lingerie you bought a whole lot better than you did! Almost all of us have been there at some point and thought afterwards that it was better as a fantasy. So my suggestion is to keep these kind of things as just that - fantasies... however, that doesn't mean you can't make them 'visible' to your significant other through creative writing!

So take some time this week to sit down and write your spouse a story. Get that daydream out of your head and onto paper - or write it out on the computer - and shock your honey a little (in the good way).

Here's how to make it happen:

First, make sure you aren't going to be interupted by anyone (like your kids). Nothing can be more damaging to the romantic imagination than having someone whine at you for snacks or tell you that they need clean underwear. You also don't want your spouse interupting you because then they will be suspecting something, and where's the fun in that?

Next, close your eyes and imagine exactly what you want to write about before you start writing it. Make yourself see the colors, the movements, the shapes - this makes it so much easier to write it out. It doesn't have to be anything dirty necessarily. You can write about something that happened a while ago, or you can write about something you have always wanted to happen, it's all up to you as the writer. Make sure the story is about you and your spouse though, or there might be mixed messages. (You don't want your spouse to think that you are starting a new day-job as a dirty novel writer.)

Make sure you use adjectives and adverbs! Use descriptive language! I'm not saying you need to make your sentences massively over-wordy. But make sure that they can paint a vivid picture for your spouse as he or she reads it. Observe the difference in the examples below:

'She kissed him.' - This doesn't tell you much, other than the fact that a woman is kissing a man. Not very interesting to read, and definitely nothing that gets the heart pounding!

'She crossed the room with deliberate steps, each one bringing her closer to him. She stopped just short of running into his chest and slowly leaned towards him, her mouth brushing his with the slightest whisper of a kiss.' - This tells you a lot more. If this was what you had in your mind, this is what you need to write. The details make the story. Be careful not to go overboard with your descriptions though - stick to the details that matter; your honey doesn't need to know what color the curtains are!

Last, all you have to do is pick a time where your spouse can read it without interruption. Don't stand there watching him or her read it. Act nonchalant and head off to do whatever you normally would. It won't be long before they come looking for you!

Have fun!