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Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Headstrong child? 6 Great Ways to Destroy the Power Struggle

 stubborn kids, how do i get my child to listen to me, how do I get my child to help, my kid keeps telling me no, how do I make my child stop saying no
Do you have a child that always seems to answer "no" when you ask for help?
Check out this awesome list of strategies!

When I was younger I can remember my mom getting very exasperated with me for always going against what she asked. If she asked me to pick up my toys, I would lie on the floor and whine. If she wanted me to wear a blue dress, I'd insist on wearing the green one. If she wanted to put my hair up, I'd take it down. I was a difficult child.

Now that I'm an adult and have kids of my own, I'm in awe of my mother's patience with me. (By all rights, I should have been punished much more than I was!) Unfortunately, one of the biggest reasons I understand what my mother went through is because my son is turning out to be just as headstrong as I was!

My son is pictured in this article wearing a tee from Enjoy Essential that reads "My Mom Needs Caffeine." I was given the tee for free in exchange for my opinion and I thought that it teamed up perfectly with the theme of this article! Check out the photos & ideas listed, then connect with Enjoy Essential via the details at the bottom.


One of the easiest ways to get our son to pick up is for us to do a "trade-off" of items. When I see that he has a cup lying around in the living room, I'll ask him to bring it to me so I can wash it. When he arrives, I hand him a toy that found its way into the kitchen and ask him to put it away on his way back.

I take advantage of these little opportunities whenever I can. I get two small things put away (which adds up to a lot of things by the end of the day) and he never suspects that he is picking up instead of just doing mom a favor.
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This Enjoy Essential tee is made to last, which is great because this little boy never stops!

Big Brother, Little Sister

Since my son is the oldest, we are able to use his 'big-boy' attitude to get him to help out when his little sister is playing with him. Sometimes when the two of them have made a mess of their toys, I'll walk right past him and go to his sister, trying to get her to put the toys back in the basket.

After a couple of tries, I'll ask him to help me show her how to put the toys in. I tell him that she is just too little to do it on her own and we need to teach her how it is done. Boy does that get his attention! He's only too happy to come over and show her how to do it in hopes of getting her to copycat him!

After a minute or two, I leave the room while he "shows" her how to put the toys away. I sweep in as the last toy is being put away, of course, and tell him what a good teacher he is to reinforce the action. (Plus I want to put that toy basket away before they can knock it over again!)

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Perfect for any day of the week, my son's favorite tee is this one from Enjoy Essential. He knows what it says and thinks it's pretty funny!
(And true!)

Can you guess it?

Oh the things you can get a child to do if you let them think they are a little smarty-pants. I like to pretend with my son that I can't remember which shoes (or jackets or bags, etc.) go where. He giggles at me as I try to put his shoes into his dad's cubby.

Even though he is the one that took all the shoes out in the first place,  I tell him I don't know if he can guess where they all go. He insists he can, and I tell him he can get a sticker if he can get them all correct.

The sticker is an elusive sort of treat for a child, and the shoes mysteriously get put away in all the correct cubbies in the few seconds it takes me to retrieve a sticker. I pretend to be shocked and mystified at his knowledge of the family-shoes, and he proudly places his sticker on his shirt.

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Happiness is contagious, and so are good deeds! Enjoy Essential gives back by purchasing a meal for those in need for every shirt sold!

Simon Says...

If this wasn't your favorite game back in kindergarten, it'll probably be your favorite now.

"Simon says.... pick up the red ball!" "Simon says.... bounce the red ball." "Simon says... put the red ball in the toy closet!" "Poke your nose! ... Oh! I didn't say Simon says!!"

Need I say more? This game is awesome.

Red light, Green light!

We play our very own version of red light green light, where I start at one end of the room and pretend to be the monster.

The monster can only move when toys aren't being picked up. The object of the game is for the child to pick up as many toys as possible before the (extremely slow-moving) monster gets to them.

When the monster does get to the child, tickling ensues. This one is good for a lot of laughs and high-pitched squeals.
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When you buy from Enjoy Essential you buy straight from the owner - she picks all the garments & comes up with the designs herself!

And finally... Don't do 'yes' and 'no'!

Oh the trouble you can get into when you ask a child a question they can tell you "no" to. Don't ask questions that you don't already (kind of) know the answer to, and don't ask questions that they can refuse.

Instead of asking if your child would like to pick up their lunch mess (which they can very easily respond "no" to, resulting in a power-struggle), ask if they want to put their dishes away first, or wipe down their placemat first. This means that no matter what they answer, they get to feel like they are in charge of the decision and you get to relax because any decision they make is mom-approved.

Try not to ask before and after questions though (i.e. Do you want to put toys away before dinner or after dinner?) because children don't always remember their promises.

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Enjoy Essential makes cute clothing with clever phrases for girls, boys, women & moms!


Did you love the Enjoy Essential tee? I get comments on how awesome it is all the time! You can find out more about Enjoy Essential and buy your own cool tee at www.enjoyessential.com. Or you can connect with them via social media on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram.

Are your kids headstrong? What's your favorite way to get children to help?
Chat with me in the comments below, I love hearing from my readers!

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